Dear American Christians: We are not the church, and we need to do better.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

The stark contrast between these words and the words of multitudes of people on social media since the attack on Paris is hard for me to wrap my head around. Even worse, my heart breaks as I try to imagine what it is like for 130,000 Syrian people as they flee their homes in fear of being killed. This has been heavy on my heart long before the attack on Paris. Over the last year I have followed missionaries who serve in Iraq--or served, more accurately--as they have been forced to flee from their homes and churches. It has not been safe in the middle east for a long time, but especially for Christians, who are being raped and beheaded for their faith. Humans are being tortured just for confessing their love for Jesus.

I live in America, where I have absolutely no fear of being hurt due to being a Christian. I live in a country where the word "persecution" was recently used to describe a coffee chain making a cup that doesn't say "Merry Christmas" on it. I have never been harmed for my faith. On rare occasion, someone may laugh at it or call my faith "make-believe," but never have I feared for my life or my health. Christians in the United States are strangely removed from even being able to relate to how it would feel to know that any day terrorists could come into your town and crucify you--literally--for admitting you are a Christian.

I say strangely because there are times that I thank God that I live in this country. I am aware enough of the attacks on Christian elsewhere to feel lucky that, as of now, I live in a country where I do not have to worry about these things. At the same time, our safe world creates a disconnect from our brothers and sisters who are suffering. The American church is not the church. We are a small part of it. And yet, we somehow justify sitting back, knowing that other believers--other children of the most high God--are being murdered--and we are so afraid for our own safety that we say, "send them somewhere else."

Only, there is nowhere else.  Other states and other countries have also chosen self-protection over true religion as James describes it.  I can't help but wonder what the first apostles would think of American Christians' reaction (or lack of reaction) to the atrocities happening to fellow Christians today. The early church sold their possessions to meet the needs of fellow believers, and American Christians today think it is a sacrifice to give up their gourmet coffee a few times a month to sponsor a child in a third world country. We would like to say, "but the early church was not at war. We are at war." But the truth is that the early church knew persecution. Emperor Nero burned Christians at the stake to light his dinner parties, and the book of Acts is full of stories of the apostles being thrown in jail for their faith. In fact, almost all of the disciples ended up dying for their faith. So our excuse that we are at war does not acquit us of our responsibility to our brothers and sisters.

I am not saying that the answer is to welcome all refugees to the U.S. I do not pretend to have a simple answer. Furthermore, I think that anyone who does is either a genius or psychotic. Both sides of the refugee debate have valid arguments. Obviously we need to seek wisdom and make sure we are protecting our own families, too. But we cannot simply ignore the mass murder of human beings because they live in another country. We cannot pretend they do not exist because an ocean separates us. Especially as Christians, we need to realize that they are part of us. Because America is not the church. All Christians everywhere make up the church, and right now, a portion of the church is at risk of being killed, and a much bigger portion of the church only cares enough to say "keep them out of my country." 

We need to do better. Again, I do not have all of the answers. I am not a politician and I am not well-versed even in current events. But I do know that to whom much is given, much is expected, and we, American Christians, have been given much. It is time to rise up and do something. We all have different resources and different abilities, so ask God what you should do, but here are some ideas:

1. Pray. Pray without ceasing. Pray for peace. Pray for the refugees. Pray that ISIS is stopped.

2. Stop acting like they are not people. Stop posting memes on social media that oversimplify what is going on and leave out the fact that these are not just foreigners, they are people. They are human beings. They are women and men and children and elderly. They are parents and sons and daughters. And many of them are our brothers and sisters. They are people. Regardless of your political views, view them as people. Speak of them as people and treat them as people.

3. GIVE. Again, to whom much is given, much is expected. I cannot go to Syria and help, but I can give to those who can. And here is a nice little list of places that are helping already. I also love Canon Andrew White's ministry, which is in Iraq, not Syria, but they have been helping victims of ISIS for a long time now.

We need to do better. Let it start with you.

Dear Natalie

Twenty-four days ago, I said "I do" and just like that, became a wife and step-mom. I have to admit, the transition has been more difficult than I expected. I pray for grace every hour of every day, and by bedtime, I am exhausted. It didn't help that I got sick during our honeymoon and decided to potty-train the week after that. Nevertheless, the last three weeks have been the most magical of my life. I can't count how many times I have thought "how is this my life?" not out of desperation, but out of wonder and amazement. I am beyond thankful that God has blessed me with these two amazing people that I get to spend the rest of my life with. Because in between the dishes and meals and changing pull-ups are the I love yous and the snuggles and the knowing that they will always be there.

I could say a million words about Jake and how he is the husband that I know God planned for me many years ago. I could tell you how he works hard and comes home and cleans and how he loves his daughter. But this post is going to be about his daughter, Natalie. Because the wedding was 900 miles away from home, we made a decision to not bring her to the wedding. We were in Missouri less than three days, and they were filled with a flutter of activity and chaos. We knew it would be hard on her to have none of her usual structure and routine, so we decided to have her stay in Pennsylvania. I believe we made the best decision for her, but it hurt my heart to not have her at the event that started our marriage. I know that a blog post cannot make up for that, but I wanted to make an effort to tell her how I feel about her.

Dear Natalie,

You turned three less than a week after I promised to love your Daddy for the rest of my life. We went on our first date two months before you turned two, and over the last fourteen months I have watched you transform from a baby to a little girl. Back then, I prayed and asked God to show me whether or not I could love you just like I would if I had given birth to you, because I knew that was the only way that this could work. Everywhere I look, there are horror stories about blended families and all of the problems that can accompany them. I am not naive enough to think that we won't face some of those problems in the future, but I know that we will get through them. I refuse to be afraid of them, because love casts out fear. And this I know, when I know nothing else: I love your Daddy, I love you, and Jesus loves us all. We have so much love between us that I have full confidence that there will be enough grace and forgiveness to cover any hurts we have in the future. And I know there will be hurts, because those happen in all families. But with love, hurts can be healed. Love is the greatest gift that God gives us, and he gave it to the three of us in abundance. And because we have God, we can choose to love in all circumstances, at all times. A million blog posts on step-parenting will never come close to teaching us what love can.

You are three today, and you will not understand all of the words that I type here. But you will not be three forever. Next year you will be four, and then five, and soon you will be a teenager. And before it seems possible, you will be a woman, all grown up. Before then, you will more than understand the things that I want to tell you, and one day I will pull a printed copy of this post out and share it with you. We will talk about my thoughts and yours, and I promise to listen to all of the feelings that you have, no matter what they are. And here, now, even though you won't read them for a long time, I want to make some other promises to you:

Natalie, I promise to love you and your Daddy, always. You deserve the stability of knowing that we will be a family, forever. You will never have to worry about me leaving, because I made a covenant with Daddy and with God to be with you forever. You will never have to fear the word "divorce" or wonder if I will be there tomorrow, because I will. Forever.

I promise to remember that I am your step-mom, and not your mom. You have a Mommy, and you love her very much. I promise to never be offended by that, and I will listen when you miss her or want to talk about her. I promise that you will never feel that you can't mention her or her family in our home, because they are your family, too.

I promise that when Daddy and I have more children, they will be loved just like you are. There will never be a reason for you to think you are less than in our family. You will always belong. You will always be the biggest sister, and the first little girl that Daddy and I loved. You will always, always, have that place in my heart. Blood doesn't make us a family, love does. Love always will.

I promise to always be your friend. I am not just your friend, I am your step-mom. And that role comes with responsibilities that will undoubtedly cause conflict in the future. But I promise that I will always be there to listen, to take you shopping and watch you play sports. I will always be your cheerleader, watching as you shine for Jesus in the world.

In the meantime, my favorite moments of the day are when you first wake up in the morning and I call your name, and I say I love you. When you say "I love you, too," my heart melts, every time. And later when I ask if you are my princess, and you say "I"m your princess too!" And those times when you ask, "Sheri, are you my step-mommy? and I get to say "Yes, I am!" I love those moments, and I promise to be thankful for them, always.

I love you, Natalie, and I promise to love you forever. Always.

Love,

Your Step-Mommy,

Sheri

An update on what's going on with me

It has been half a year since I last posted on this blog--sorry! Life has been a little crazy over the last several months, but all in a good way! As you most likely know, I left California at the beginning of June and am now in Pennsylvania! God actually worked the whole trip out, and I was able to caravan with brother and sister-in-law from Southern California to Kansas. That was one of the highlights of the last several years, as I got to spend enough time with my niece and nephew for them to get to know me (on the flip side of that, my nephew now "really, really misses" me--break. my. heart!) We also stopped at the grand canyon and the meteor crater in Arizona. Once in Kansas, my wonderful brother did some work on my car and I took off to Missouri on my own. My mom joined me from there and helped me settle into my new home in southeast Pennsylvania. That's the month of June in a nutshell. July 1 was the start of internship and I am oh so blessed. I absolutely love everything about my internship site, and am so thankful to be here! Anyway, here is a glimpse on what I've learned and/or am working on now:

Food: Just before I left California I went to a natural nutritionist and got tested for allergies. I was shocked to find out that I am NOT allergic to gluten! Unfortunately, I had worse results for eggs, dairy, oats and sugar. At that time, my diet consisted of a whole lot of oatmeal and yogurt, so that's been a big change. On a more positive note, I learned that many people with lactose intolerance can drink raw milk with no problems (milk naturally contains lactase, which breaks down lactose, but lactase is killed during the pasteurization process). I was elated to find a raw milk farmer who makes bi-weekly deliveries to my town, so I can once again have dairy! Trying to avoid those four things in food, I made the decision to start eating gluten again. However, after a few weeks I realized I didn't feel so great after eating it so now, while I don't consider myself gluten-free, I eat very limited gluten-containing foods. I've learned that I feel best when I follow a primal diet (Paleo w/ raw milk).

Faith: God is so absolutely faithful. If I had to share what I've learned about faith in the last year, that statement would cover it. He has come through in the big things and small, from making it across the country to finding new friends who share my faith. It has been a somewhat painful process looking for a new home church, as I am no longer a three-hour drive from the best church in the world . But I have at least found a church that shares my values, and my old pastor will even be here in a few weeks to speak at a conference. I started reading Dreaming With God by Bill Johnson and that is awakening in me desires that God put in my heart long ago. I'm also reading Powerful and Free by Danny Silk, which is a much needed voice championing the position of women in the church. All in all, God is teaching me a lot and I am walking in freedom like never before.

Freud: My internship specializes in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is about as far as you can get from Freud without leaving the field of psychology, but this blog has never been a fan of Freud, only the F in his name! I am so thankful for the education I am getting from my supervisors and the experience I am getting from my clients. The work can be extremely stressful (think 3 suicidal teenagers and a child abuse report in 2 weeks) but it is really worth it. On top of that, my supervisors are extremely supportive and are really invested in my growth as a clinician. I think CBT is the type of therapy that God uses, because it is basically described in Romans 12:2: "...be transformed by the renewing of your mind...." CBT is about changing inaccurate thoughts, or "renewing your mind." It's a great fit for me!

Well, that's the last six months of my life in a nutshell... now that I'm settled down here in PA hopefully more posts will be coming soon! Thanks for reading!

Faith-my story (well, a tiny part of it)

"Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23, NIV.

It seems like my blog topic should be on moving or internship or something related to psychology, since the last month has been all about internship applications (actually, the last 10 months have been about internship applications) and I'm finally DONE. But it's not. This is another topic that's been on my heart a lot lately, and something that I've been asking God to teach me more about. But first, I need to lay a foundation...

Most of you know that I took some time off of school and moved to Redding, California, where I lived from August 2010 to January 2012. I really feel that the move, and that time away from school, was a sabbatical. I had been feeling like I was putting so much energy and time into school, academics, achievement, etc, that I had been neglecting my spiritual growth. After much prayer and counsel from wise friends, I felt that God was telling me that the next year would be a time to focus on Him and grow spiritually. I chose Redding because it is the home of Bethel Church, which is, by far, the best church in the world (okay, so I may be slightly biased; but only slightly). I got so much freedom out of that year, and worked through so many issues. The biggest thing I learned is identity. Really, learned is not the appropriate word. I feel like I had a revelation of identity. God showed me just a little glimpse of who I am--who he created me to be--and how he feels about me. That completely changed how I look at myself, and changing how I look at myself changed everything else.

One of the avenues that this revelation took place through was a seminar at Bethel called Single Life Workshop (SLW). SLW was started by Barry & Lori Byrne, who have ran the marriage ministry, Love After Marriage (LAM), at Bethel for years. They wanted to give singles the tools that have saved hundreds of marriages across the world (they travel for LAM and are now travelling for SLW; you should check it out at www.singlelifeworkshop.org.) I made some great friends in SLW; it is one of the best experiences I have ever had. Before SLW, I really wasn't sure that healthy relationships existed. And if they did, I wasn't sure that I had anything to offer. After SLW, I know that I have a LOT to offer and that God has someone out there who is going to be SO worth the wait! Anyway, I digress. The whole point of this paragraph (AND the one before it!) is that I've been thinking about the idea of guarding your heart this week, and wrestling with what that means, and it's reminded me a lot of some things that I learned in SLW, at Bethel, in Redding.

So... on to my topic. Psychodynamic therapists (ones who really like Freud!) talk a lot about defense mechanisms, or defenses--things/behaviors that defend someone emotionally/psychologically. Common defenses are denial (I don't have a problem), projection (I'm not the one with the problem, you are), humor (it's not a problem, it's a joke!), and intellectualization (let me tell you all about the problem as if its not problematic and it's not happening to me). Those are really simplified explanations, and there are a lot of other defenses (google them if you want). The point is that defenses protect you from feelings like fear, pain, sadness, etc. The problem is that being too defended can also result in an inability to connect emotionally with others.

Thanks to facebook, I've noticed that there are a lot of people out there who either avoid relationships (either altogether or just emotionally by making it all about sex) or go from "in a relationship" to "engaged" to "single" to "engaged" to "it's complicated" back to "single" and back to "engaged" (side note: what relationship isn't complicated? seriously, it's two people-that's complicated! Sometimes I'm complicated all by myself!). Really, I can't keep up with whether people are getting married or hate each other. And as a therapist, and a Christian, that made me wonder what it is about relationships that make people so crazy! My first thought was that people are too defended. But my second thought was that people are not defended enough. I mean, look at all of the people who either get into horrible relationships in the first place, or return to them time and time again. Then I started asking God for the connection between the two.

First he reminded me of Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do flows from it" (NIV). At first that didn't help, because 'guard your heart' kind of sounds like 'defend your heart.' But as I thought about it,  realized that guarding something and defending something are completely different things. If you are defending something, you are ready to fight. It puts you at odds with anyone or anything that you come in contact with. Guarding something may involve defending it, but only if necessary. A good guard knows who to let in and who to keep out. Imagine a guard at the White House. The guard knows who to let in and who to keep out. They also know which rooms which people are allowed in. A good guard knows that the president can go wherever he wants, that his family's living quarters are relatively private, and the common visitor (like me) stays outside the fence. At the same time, he doesn't just shoot everyone who walks by; he is, however, ready to use force if it becomes necessary. Likewise, guarding your heart involves knowing who to let in just as much as who to keep out. It involves having good boundaries, and it involves good communication with the person in charge. Being a good guard also means making sure people are who they say they are before letting them in--there are a lot of people who use disguises! When guarding your heart, you need to allow enough time to make sure people are genuinely trustworthy before you let them in. The guard has a pretty complicated job--much more complicated than just "defending" something.

If you have a history of not guarding your heart well (either too strictly or not enough), I urge you to look at what's stopping from you. There are a lot of great resources on learning how to be a good guard. Just like if you were learning to guard the white house, you need good training. Again, I highly recommend SLW. There's also a great blog on stages of relationships that you can find here. Therapy may be helpful, or maybe just wise counsel from friends. Wherever you choose to seek help, the important thing is to seek it.

I'll have more posts on food, faith, and/or Freud coming soon. Let me know if there's a topic you'd like to read soon!

Food-Preparing to go gluten-free--AND healthy

This is the first topic that I've written by request. That's kind of awesome!

I have been asked for tips for shopping gluten-free. This is a great question because a lot of "gluten-free" products on the shelves are pretty awful--especially if you are used to lots of gluten, with high fructose corn syrup mixed in. Switching can be pretty overwhelming. My brother is the type of person who goes all-or-nothing, so when he went gluten-free he went cold turkey. My switch happened over a period of several months, partially because I was focusing on other aspects of health before I realized I was gluten-sensitive. (For more on gluten-sensitivity, read this article, although I have heard stories of many other symptoms of gluten-sensitivity.) Because this is the way I did it, this is how I will organize my tips. However, if you're like my brother, just throw everything in your kitchen out and start over ;)  In all reality, probably 90 percent of the stuff in your kitchen has gluten. Also, some people just find "gluten-free" products and stock up on them. I don't recommend this for two reasons. First, a lot of them taste awful. Second, most of them are made with grains other than wheat, and while they are better than wheat products, I still wouldn' call them healthy. You really want to cut as many grains out of your diet as possible.

If you're planning on going gluten-free, my recommendation is to make a commitment not to bring any more gluten-products into your house. For now, assuming you don't eat out more than a couple meals per week, just focus on your home. While you're eating the rest of your gluten-filled products, stock up on the following items:

• Coconut oil--I buy mine from Vitacost, and if you use this link, we both get $10 off our next order :)  You'll need coconut oil in most gluten-free recipes. Plus, there are approximately 9 million other amazing uses for coconut oil, but that's another blog. I recommend buying organic extra-virgin coconut oil, but you can do your own research and decide what's best for you.
• Coconut flour--I buy this in the bulk section of Whole Foods for $3.99/lb. Coconut flour lasts a long time because most recipes only call for a small amount, so you'll only need 1-2 lbs of this, unless you're feeding a big family or make dessert every day. Whole Foods is by far the cheapest I've found it. If you're not near a WF, look around, but if all else fails, you can purchase it online here.
• Almond flour--I also buy mine in the bulk section of Whole Foods. I think it's $5.99/lb, but I'm not positive. Some WF I've been to don't have almond flour in their bulk section. You can buy it in the baking aisle, too, in a package, but it costs a lot more. If you can't find it bulk, I recommend getting it here.
• Gluten-free baking powder. Yes, you need to make sure it says gluten-free. I think Trader Joe's only sells it around Christmas time, but I found it at Whole Foods in the baking aisle. Or maybe the aluminum-free baking soda is what TJs only sells at Christmas. Oh, I'd get that, too.  Baking soda doesn't have gluten but you really don't want aluminum in your food. It's been correlated to alzheimer's disease in some studies.

These are the three most-needed products to start your grain-free/gluten-free adventure. You'll probaby also need these:

• You'll want to stay stocked up on eggs when you're using coconut flour. It's a thirsty flour and requires lots of liquid to bake with.
• Arrowroot starch/powder. I got mine at WF but it might be cheaper on vitacost (see above link). You'll need this for PIZZA and CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!
• I recommend a julienne peeler. It makes pasta from zucchini.
• Zucchini. :)
• Honey, depending on whether you are trying to cut down on sugar too. I use a lot of recipes from Elana's Pantry. She uses agave nectar, which I believe is NOT healthy, in a lot of her recipes. However, I've tried many of the recipes and just subbed raw honey for the agave, and they turned out great! I recommend raw honey, but it's up to you how healthy you're trying to be. Trader Joe's has a decent price on organic raw honey. Wherever you get it, just make sure to read the ingredients. A lot of bottles labeled as "honey" are actually filled with high fructose corn syrup. (Yuck)
• Parchment paper. I'm not sure what the difference between this and wax paper is, but I am told there is a difference. You will need this to bake with almond flour. Almond flour is really sticky and will stick to your pan really bad if you don't use parchment paper.

Stock up on these items, and remember, while you're shopping, don't bring anything with gluten in it home! If you're craving something, go down the gluten-free aisle at Whole Foods or your local health food store, and grab a snack. Or, better, go get some fruit! In the meantime, decide whether you're going to eat all of your old food or get rid of it, and if you're keeping it, menu-plan to use it all as quickly as possible. You don't feel the effects of eating gluten-free until you're 100% gluten-free for at least two weeks, so make a goal, such as "I'm going not have anything with gluten in my house two weeks from now." Adjust the time frame realistically based on how much food you have in your home. I'll post some of my favorite gluten-free/grain-free recipes and websites in my next post. Have fun shopping!

Food, Faith & Freud-Putting things in the right order.

I'm currently co-facilitating a therapy group using a curriculum called Seeking Safety (SS). SS is designed for individuals who have experienced trauma or used substances. Rarely, however, do we ever discuss trauma or substance abuse. Instead, we focus on coping skills. The creator of the SS curriculum believes that healing comes in three steps: first is learning how to be safe by developing safe coping skills. Only after these skills become natural do you move on to step 2: processing the trauma. Finally, individuals learn how to re-connect to the community and give back. You have to put the good coping skills in before you have the strength to keep the bad out.

The same principle is found in Christianity. Many Christians are quick to point out the sin of others, but this is not what Jesus did. He told the woman at the well about living water before he confronted her sin (see John 4). I'm sure that Jesus knew all about her life when he first saw her, but he did not speak of it until after he told her about living water. Jesus knew that when we try to do things in our own power, we will fall back to depending on our own bad coping skills. If, instead, we drink of the water that He gives us, we will have the strength to take the bad things out.

I think that putting the good in before taking the bad out is a formula we can apply to various parts of life. Personally, I tried for years to avoid junk food and cut sugar out of my life. I would not buy it so that I wouldn't be tempted, only to end up on a midnight run to Dairy Queen to get my chocolate fix. When I stared eating healthy, I did not have a goal of taking junk food out, but of putting healthy food in. It wasn't until later that I realized that when I made sure to get enough healthy fats, protein, probiotics, etc, in my diet, I didn't crave the "bad" foods I'd tried for so long to avoid.

Try putting the good in before addressing the bad. You can do it through pointing out the positive in those around you, in how you spend your time, or in the thoughts you have toward yourself. How might this principle change your life?

Food-My Story

My mother has often told me about taking me to the doctor when I was a toddler because I wouldn't eat anthing except cereal. She thought I would be malnourished because I refused to eat anything else. The doctor told her that if I wanted cereal, she should feed me cereal. And so she did. As I got older, I incorporated a few other things into my acceptable edible list. Like macaroni and cheese and pretty much anything with chocolate in it. Looking back, I'm suprised I survived, but I made it through childhood with no abnormal illnesses or diseases.

I moved to California in 2004 as a sophomore in college. I remember thinking I would never get used to the different culture. Specifically, I would never eat tofu or care if my food was organic. I really thought people who ate these things were hippies. I suppose a lot of people feel the same about me now.

In 2010 I joined a group at my church called Single Life Workshop. I'll probably write a post on that someday down the road, but it's not really important to this subject. What is important is that I met a lovely girl who would later be my roommate. She fell into the hippy category, but only as far as food goes. We became friends quickly and both happened to be looking for a new place to live at the same time. I moved my mac and cheese and chocolate cake into the same kitchen as her kale and coconut oil. I was a little worried. I later found out that she was too.

A few months into our stay, a mutual friend was over and she and I planned to make chocolate cookies. The same night we volunteered to watch my roommate's then 3-year old daughter. As my roommate was leaving, she gently told us that if we made the cookies, she did not want her daughter to have any. I chalked this up to hippy-ness, but I got curious. The next day I asked her just what was so bad about our cookies. That started my informal education on hydrogenated oils (the main ingredient in the butter we had bought to bake cookies with). Do you know that this ingredient is made in a lab and our bodies don't know how to digest them? Yuck. They basically stay in your body for life.

To make the story shorter, I started making changes in the food I bought. This is a picture of the foods I threw away when I started eating healthy. Yes, I literally threw them away. The easiest way to avoid hydrogenated oils is to buy organic. So I started coming home from the grocery store with organic versions of my favorite foods--do you know they make organic pop tarts? True story! I also found a love for agave nectar and (of course) organic cereal with organic fat-free milk! (Actually, I switched to almond milk for a while but that's another story!) Around the same time I was trying to lose weight. I've never been considered very overweight, but I wanted to lose 5-10 pounds. I joined a gym. I kept buying low-fat and fat-free products with no hyrogenated oils, colors, nitrates, or antibiotics. I bought protein powder and drank shakes after every workout. I lost zero pounds.

I soon lost steam and quit the gym. A few months later I read some articles about health. Some were by The Healthy Home Economist about some were by Maria Emmerich. Others were by Dr. Mercola. (Dr. Mercola is one of my favorites because he is a medical doctor.) I did hours and hours of research. Basically what I found is that if you want to lose fat, you should eat fat. I realize this is counterintuitive to everything you have learned about health and nutrition, but I began to incorporate real butter into my diet. I switched from fat-free to whole milk. I began eaing coconut oil by the spoonful (coconut oil is my favorite health food, which I use for many many food and non-food purposes! 100% of its calories are from fat!). When I thought about what I was eating I assumed I would gain weight--a lot of it! But I made the changes anyway, giving these so-called health experts a chance. That was a year and a half ago and I now weigh 16 pounds less than I did then. I am never hungry and, while I enjoy being active, especially in the summer, I have not been in a gym in close to two years. I eat gluten-free and mostly grain-free. I limit my sugar intake, but I refuse to eat things that don't taste good. I've discovered a love for my kitchen--epecially baking!--and love almond flour and coconut flour and (again) coconut oil and real butter and whole milk. I moved back to the SF Bay Area to finish school, and my new roommates, who don't eat healthy at ALL, tell me I should sell my baked items. Best of all, I have energy (I used to think I had chronic fatigue syndrome, but now I think it was/is gluten sensitivity) and I feel great--physically and mentally/emotionally!  I love teaching others about what I've learned about health and nutrition. I hope to share more about my story with you in future blogs. Until then, check out these helpful websites for more information and some yummy recipes:

Healthy Home Economist: how to eat healthy on a budget!
Dr. Mercola: the medical side, see above!
Maria Emmerich: healthified recipes!
Riddle Love: meal plans (most gluten-free!)
Free Coconut Recipes: self-explanatory